Ted's Couch

Bumper Stickers

2011-07-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Once again, Eugene ate my bike a few weeks ago. The other scenario is that I locked my nice Trek up to a fence very poorly, assuming that no one in the peaceful and loving city of Eugene would steal from me. Obviously, I was sorely mistaken. You think I would have learned by now, seeing that this is my 3rd bike stolen in eugene, but you know what they say in Russia. Anyway, now I have no bike, therefore I drive everywhere, leaving my "carbon footprint" all over this small, very busy world.

Since I have been driving so much, I get to see a lot of bumper stickers. There are a few that come to mind that I have seen more and more around town that drive me crazy, and I will now vent my feelings and questions.

Bumper sticker #1: Driving down Newport Ave., I get behind this baby-blue Ford Bronco. On the lower bumper, the content reveals, "Smoke a pack a day", with a picture of a wolf and a big red X through the picture. Now listen, I do not consider myself an environmentalist, democratic, republican, hippie, hipster, animal hugger, tree hugger, ect. The reason this act of free speech pisses me right off is that these people DO NOT understand biology or ecology. It's SCIENCE people! To be an active participant on this planet (not just "our society" or "our country"), education is the key. I understand why people have these extremist views. Ranchers are pissed that wolves are back in Oregon and killing their livestock. Elk hunters are convinced that reintroducing wolves will kill off the elk population, so hunters will not have anything left to hunt. That idea is one of the most erroneous statements I have ever heard. There is something called the predator-prey relationship model. "Logic and mathematical theory suggest that when prey are numerous their predators increase in numbers, reducing the prey population, which in turn causes predator number to decline. The prey population eventually recovers, starting a new cycle" (http://www.globalchange.umich.edu/globalchange1/current/lectures/predation/predation.html). Therefore, elk hunter's beliefs are wrong (I am not sorry for being blunt). As for the environmentalists and the wolf huggers, you cannot disregard the needs of the cattle industry. Raising cattle is their livelihood and some small communities survive because of ranching. You cannot tell these people to find some other form of income when their families have been in this industry for many generations. What this issue comes down to is meeting everyone halfway, and I think I have a solution to part of the problem, because this problem is very complex and there are a lot of interests at stake. I am a meat-eater and I, personally, am willing to pay a few extra bucks at the grocery store to help compensate ranchers for lost cattle due to wolves. The numbers that are killed by wolves are minimal, and I think if you hike the price for meat a few bucks, I think meat-eaters will and should accept this responsibility.

Bumper sticker #2: More and more mini vans seem to have stickers that display the driver's family. Sometimes there is a mom, dad, maybe three kids, and a few dogs. They all seem to be white stick figures that are somewhat goofy looking. I am not as emotionally invested in this bumper sticker, but I am just a little puzzled as to why someone feels the urge to advertise how many dogs, children, wives, or husbands a family has. Are you trying to tell everyone how many people you are able to support, therefore a status symbol kind of thing? Kind of like having three Porsches' in your driveway, not only saying that you can purchase these cars but you can also run them on premium petrol, as well as the insurance for the toy. Or could it be like a "baby on board sign"? Don't you dare rear end me, I could have some kids and a few dogs on board that could give me plenty of reason to sue your ass for everything you got! Or I guess it could be a pride thing? People are just showing off to the world what they're all about. "I have a reason for living, do you!?" Just some food for thought.

The Last Story

2010-09-14T00:36:00.000-07:00

Hey there folks,

It has been a long while since we have shared some time on The Couch. I have missed it tremendously, fellow potatoes. This will be the last piece of writing that I complete that is visible to others. I very much hope you all will enjoy it, and feel the same way I felt.

There once was a boy/man named Sue. No, no, no, its not the same Sue you're thinking of. It's not the boy named Sue that Johnny Cash sung about. Although, trust me this is a boy/man that all of you have met one time or another in your lifetime.

As the story goes:

One night, when Sue was a youngster, he thought that a glass of milk would defiantly sooth the dry, death grip around his throat. Sue's room was very cold and dark. He could not get out of his warm, comfortable sleeping arrangement until he couldn't stand the painful feeling of the devil strangling his throat to a pulp anymore. FINALLY!, he gets out of bed, throws on the most comfortable protective layer he could find at his finger tips to shield himself from the deep, dark coldness of his domain. Sue walks to his bedroom door, slowly opens the heavy, creaky, wooden door. He was TRYING so hard not awake his siblings and his parents from their bottomless sleep. Sue cannot see the outline of objects that he knows should be in his way when he begins to make his way through the darkness. The pulsing sound of silence while stepping into the hall of the beautiful, one-story house in which his parents lived. He has memorized where obstacles might still be to stand in the way of his objective. Sue begins to make his way down the hall, to the right, where he hopes, so much, that he may turn the corner and rest his eyes on the beautiful night light in the kitchen to guide him like a lighthouse that will continue to direct him to the ultimate destination; the refrigerator for the ice cold glass of milk that came from a cow's tit. He thinks in his head that he will never be able to meet the cow and give appreciation for the refreshment. Well there he is, turning the corner of the hall into the warm living room. He can feel it now, so close! Sue walks into the kitchen only to find what he dreaded the most. His father is resting wide awake beside the refrigerator! "Can I please grab a glass of milk to help rest my brain?", asks Sue. "NEVER!", says his father as he quickly reaches for the butcher knife right behind where he is standing. "But dad, PLEASE DON'T!", exclaims Sue, but Sue is too late. Before Sue knows it, the father is standing on the opposite side of the round table that once stood so nicely as a symbol for a family to eat meals and converse. The father stands opposite of Sue with only a puny, round dinner table standing in between him and his victim. With fire blazing through the pupils of the father's eyes, he says, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, SUE!!!!". As quick as a gun shot, the father starts to chase Sue around the table to catch his son with the intention of ending his life. Out of desperation, Sue runs the opposite direction of where his father starts to run after him. Around and around they go. The stress and survival mentality kicks in with Sue as he runs for his life around that goddamn table. There is no one to run to for help. STOP!!!!!!!!!!! Sue finds himself standing, still, once again facing his father that is heaving for a quick fix of oxygen before he attempts a new move at getting to his son. There they are, father and son glaring into each others' glassy eyes with the only thought of predator and prey. Ohhhhh, but father has a trick up his sleeve that there was no way for the young son named Sue to ever anticipate. The father gives Sue a slight, but sure smile as he raises the knife in his right hand above his head ever so slowly. Out of nowhere, he smashes the table with his left hand and releases a wild and violent sound through the still, tense air. The table parts like Jesus himself parted the Red Sea, and just as the father reaches with his left hand to grab the young kid; Sue jumps out of his bed in horror! Sweating and panting, he looks around and realizes it was all just a dream.

It was early Fall, and Summer was coming to an end. The Great Plains of North America are already forming frost from the bitter, below freezing temperatures of the night. Summer was nothing much to write home about. For some reason, Sue just could not find his fix. Maybe he wanted to watch it all pass by like he wanted everything to just pass right on bye, bye. But never the less, there he was, trying to create his cloud nine.

One of the many strange and lonely nights stood out in his mind the most. It was a bizarre day to begin with, but that doesn't matter where this story is going. 5:30 in the p.m. comes around, and Sue is ready to go to the pub for a drink and football. As many other times before, he finds himself ordering beer after beer, until all the football games are over for the night. After what seems to be 45 minutes, he looks at his watch and reads 10:30 p.m., and the bar is supposed to close at 10 because of residential housing above the pub (not to mention that he is nice and liquored up by that time). Time to go home. Sue pays his bill and shakes the bartender's hand and says goodbye to the rest of the regulars sharing the time wasted with him. On the walk home, which is only a half a block away, Sue runs into a man on a bicycle. The man is rough from head to toe with some stale vomit on the lower part of his sweatshirt. His bike has no brakes. The brake tubes are dangling down, hitting every spoke as the wheel turns. "Hey man, do you happen to have some matches I can bum?", asks the man. On any normal sunny, cloudy, rainy, snowy, sleety, day or night, Sue would have ignored this lowlife bum. But, remember, this is a strange day for Sue! Sue doesn't say a word, but gestures with his hand to follow him. Once Sue gets to the bottom the the grey, stone stairs reaching to his apartment door, he tells the man to chill for a second while he gets some matches. Sue sprints up the stairs, opens his door, searches for a flock of matches he had grabbed from a bar a month or so before. When Sue returns to the rough, dirty, smelly, distant man, Sue opens his hand to give the man three wads of matches. "Hey, young fella", says the man, "want to share a smoke?". "Sure", says Sue without any hesitation.

Man: say there man, ill tell ya (as he rolls the cigarette), im campin a few blocks away behind the big church up there. I asked them a few hours ago if they could help me out with a tarp, maybe a sleepin bag, and if they didnt have a tarp, maybe, possibly some kind of shelter from the rain. The preacher man put his hands on his forehead and replied, probably not. the two women behind the preacher were listenin and shook their heads as well and whispered to each other while starin at me. couldnt get NOTHIN MAN!!!!!! (he lights the cigarette).

Sue: jesus christ!!!!!!!!!!!

Man: no no no no no man!!! dont say that, please!!

Sue: oh man, im so sorry man!..... i....

Man: no no no no no man!!!! stop apologizing!!! (he passes Sue the soiz(cigarette))

Sue: dude you can NOT trust organized religion, im not a religious man........

Man: YES!!! thats it man! the two women were wearing nice necklaces, beautiful dresses. the preacher man, the preacher was in a real nice suit. every other car was a nice big truck or a mercedes. they just wouldnt, couldnt lend a hand to help me out. im an ex-marine in the sniper division, my dad's wife will not let me see my daughters. i mean, ya, i like alcohol, but still, they wont let me even see them man!

Sue: dude, if you want to see your kids so bad, why dont you do anythin you can to see them?

Man: because man, that bitch wont let me see them!

Sue: dude you should just do everythin in your power to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man: HEY MAN! dont tell me what you think i should do!

Sue: ok ok im very sorry, your right i shouldnt.......

Man: hey man! stop apologizing! its cool! hey man, you wouldnt happen to have some tape, duck tape? electrical tape? or somethin to tie these brake tubes onto my frame to keep them from rattling on my spokes?

Sue: i gotcha, give me 2 seconds.

(1/2 second later)

Sue: here you go! (as Sue is walking down the stairs with a huge roll of duck tape, he is beginning to get on his bike)

Man: damn man!!! i thought you werent comin back, i usually hear people say that and they just leave.

Sue: its chill man. (Sue helped the man rap the wires down to the frame)

Man: hey man you wanna smoke one more?

Sue: sure.

Man: (as he is rolling another soiz) seeeeee!!! that is what i am talkin about, your a good person, i can feel it. you say your not a religious man, but you still help me out. i can tell you believe in something.

Sue: (he passes Sue the soiz) thanks man, you should take that whole roll of duck tape, i dont need it right now. im from Houston, and we have the Lakewood Church that bought the stadium where the Rockets used to play and now they have 30,000 plus people comin to church and givin money. Joel Osteen is wearin, easily, a $2,000 suit, and his wife is wearin a huge gold necklace with a shiny, silk dress, preachin to a crowd that listens all over America, and pays money from all over the country! ARE YOU KIDDIN ME!?!?!?!?!

Man: ya man, iv seen them on tv! i try to stay away from Houston man! those Houston cops dont like people with backpacks.

Sue: I hear ya man.

Man: well man, i greatly appreciate people like you. thank you for the tape and the matches! (we shook hands)

Sue: take care of yourself man.

In The Eye Of The Beholder

2010-05-05T23:00:00.000-07:00

The 5th of May. This day is also commonly known as "Cinco de Mayo". Guaranteed, 96.38% of the population in America knows what day this means in English even if they do not even know the word for water in Spanish. For those of you who do not know what this day symbolizes, like I did not know about twenty minutes ago, I am fixing to tell you my interpretation of what this day represents.

While I am telling you my interpretation of Cinco de Mayo, I am not worried about dates, citing sources, or any of that stuff. (Side Note#1: Isn't history just another person's interpretation of what happened? That is for a later discussion or tangent of mine.) I will give a very brief and concise description of what went down. Therefore, please feel free to look it up if you wish to know details.

Mexico owed money to France in the mid 1800's. The president (might be the wrong term) of Mexico decided to stop paying foreign countries in which they were in debt to. France threw a fit over this, and decided to invade and conquer Mexico. France ended up succeeding in taking over Mexico, but along the way, they ran into one little/big problem. In a town or maybe a city in Mexico, there was a battle (as I said, this was going to be vague). In this famous battle, on May 5, mid 1800's, the Mexican army and militia were very much outnumbered, disadvantaged technologically and strategically. Besides the odds, I bet you can guess who won the battle. YES!!! You're right!!! It was Mexico! Even though France ended up taking over the whole country in the end, Mexico had a right to be proud of the outcome of the battle that occurred on Cinco de Mayo! They were at a strong (lack of a better word) disadvantage against the French, but they had the courage and pride to lead them to victory, and maybe a general who knew what he was doing. But none the less, that is awesome! After this battle, no other country in the Americas' have been invaded by an army from another continent, which is pretty cool.

It is amazing what humans can do when the odds are more than against us. For instance, space exploration, the atomic bomb, the Sistine Chapel, deep sea exploration, music, science, art, communication, the internet, being able to survive traveling in the highest elevations on Earth, and the list goes on and on. On a personal level, what happens when you are rock climbing, trying your hardest to clip that next bolt or piece of gear, and the fear sets in. What if I fall? I will fall a long ways. Every muscle is burning! What do I do!? OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT! Wait. Relax. YOU ARE OK! Then you get it and now you are safe. You have just overcome yourself and the human mind. How does this relate to Cinco de Mayo, you may ask. Well, I will tell you. When shit hits the fan, and you have a decision to live or die, whether you like it or not, the decision is yours to make. The human instinct, that we have, from a little phenomenon called evolution, gives us the power to survive in the worst and harshest conditions if we really want to. The Mexican army was faced up against a very powerful and relentless army, yet they won a battle with everything against them. In my mind, they had to have that will and determination to survive and save their land. That's where it's at.

Find the spark

2010-04-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

ok fine... the world wont ever come to you. if you want it, you must seek it and find it. you must never give up or get distracted from your goals and responsibilities in your life. friends, family, you must treat them much better than you would treat yourself, because no matter how many times you don't want to admit it, we all need help sometimes, and your friends and family are going to be the ones to help pick you up, if you have treated them right. its so easy to get caught up in your own life and your own little world and forget about the important people around you. we all make mistakes. the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.

2010-04-14T16:18:00.000-07:00

How are you doing? Are you a happy, content, excitable, and a lovable individual? Do you have a strong passion for something? It could be absolutely anything. Before you move on from these tiny questions, think about it for a second. Take 30 more seconds to think about it. You might see something that you would not have seen if you would have just breezed past these questions. Are you being good to yourself? Maybe take another 30 seconds to appreciate yourself and the ones around you. Appreciate the path you are taking right now. If you think you cannot do any of these things, then please, challenge yourself and try.

As we all know most of us live a very fast, complex, short, and confusing life. It's hard to slow down, sometimes impossible. You always hear people's opinions about the way most live their lives in our society. Well, I'm not here to tell you what I think, because most likely I have already told you many times what I believe. Plus, who cares what I think or what anybody else thinks? But, I have got a story to tell that surprised me and threw me through a loop when I experienced this. Hopefully, you all feel the same.

Yesterday, I biked up to my usual bouldering spot a few minutes from my house. It was a beautiful, sunny afternoon in Bend. The smell was out and about dancing a duet with the breeze. The true feeling of being ALIVE is the only way to describe this day in Central Oregon. I round the familiar corner on the trail and see the rocks waiting for me to come and give my undivided attention to them for a little while. I toss my backpack, walking shoes, and sweatshirt to the far end of the rocks, away from where I would be climbing mostly today. I put on my purple climbing shoes (I have no idea how I ended up with purple climbing shoes) and taking in the view the town of Bend and the surrounding high desert. I begin climbing and I am grooving, feeling good. A half hour goes by while traversing back and forth. This kid comes up the hill, off-trail, with a stick in his hand, hiding from the trail runners and walkers from the cover of the sage brush and pines. My estimation was that he must of been no older than 13 years old. I remember back when I was a kid letting my imagination run wild, pretending like I was some kind of ninja with a mission to get from point A to point B without being seen. I chuckled to myself and kept climbing. About half a minute after seeing this kid, I look back, and see he is gone. I didn't think anything of it, kept on climbing. I round a bulge in the rock and hear a noise coming from where I put my backpack down about 15 yards away. I see the kid rumbling through my backpack pulling out my school books and notepads. I laughed to myself again and didn't say anything. There was nothing of value in there. This kid does not see me until I jump off the wall and make a noise on the brush, at the bottom of the rock. I ask him if he found anything interesting, he said no, and that he was sorry. I didn't care. Kept climbing. He comes around in front to climb with me after I get back on the rock, and starts to climb higher and higher on the rock. I told him to be careful, and he replied that he has been climbing these rocks for 3 years now. I said ok. He gets to the top and keeps hanging around. I didn't mind. I divert from the traverse I had been doing and decide to give this overhang a try that I have had trouble with ever since I had started climbing there. The kid sees what I am going to try, and proceeds to say, "there is no way your going to get up that." I laughed and said, "thanks man, 'preciate it." He was right, I didn't get up it, but I did better than I had ever done, so I was satisfied.

Kid: I hate this tree that is right here. It's standing all alone, right here, in the way of my view. This tree should be cut down so we can have a better view of the town and the desert.

Me: I don't know man, I kind of like the tree right there. It's out of place, gives the place some substance and health. You can see through the tree. It's not screwing up your view.

Kid: No, it's in the way of my view. It should be cut down.

Me: Well, should we just cut down everything that is in our view?

No response

The kid starts hitting a branch of another tree. He proceeds to knock off the whole branch with his stick.

Me: Hey, dude! Why are you doing that!?

Kid: Just because...

Me: That tree never did anything to you. I hope you feel really good right now. I bet you feel really strong and powerful, dontcha?

Kid: Yeah... kinda.

Me: Good. I'm glad you do.

Kid: I hate Blackberry's. I hate how people are so dependent on their phones and technology.

Me: I hear ya man.

Kid: I would love to hide someone's Blackberry from them and see how bad they freak out. You know they call it the "Crackberry", because people are so addicted to their phones.

Me: Hahaha! Hell ya man! I would love to see how someone would react to their iphone or Blackberry being hidden.

Kid: They would probably start getting Blackberry withdrawals. Ahhhhh! I NEED my Blackberry!!

Me: Hahaha. Ya they would probably start having BA meetings, Blackberry Anonymous meetings. People would lose their minds! Technology is defiantly a weakness for us.

Kid: Yeah! I would love to see every piece of technology not work for 24 hours! It would be anarchy! Everybody would flip.

Me: Think about it. Agriculture, heat, cars, our daily lives, everything, is run by computers! People would freak. I wouldn't want to be here (on earth) to experience that.

Kid: Yeah, I guess so.

Me: Well man, I'm outta here. What's you name dude?

Kid: Ohhhhh, I don't think I should give out that...

Me: Of course, I forgot about that, my bad. I'll just call you "Jerry". Later Jerry, good talking to you.

Kid: Hey! What's your name?

Me: Ted.

I'm sorry this was so long. The reason I told you this story is because it gave me something to look forward to. I know this kid is probably in the minority in what he believes, but there are younger generations out there that have the potential to "get it". I, myself, doesn't really know what "it" is, but I dig "it". This kid went from the kid saying that nature must be tamed and controlled to we are digging ourselves deeper and deeper into our own little fictional world that we have made through technology.

Slow down. Get back to basics. Get your simple mind back. Forget the other horse crap around you. Next time you hike the Flatirons, Spencer's Butte, Aubrey Butte, or anywhere where you feel that you can slow down and, stop, listen, and smell everything around you. That will be as real as you can get.

O' Where Do The Wild People Go?

2010-02-28T23:48:00.000-08:00

Story #1:

After two days and three fun filled nights in Boulder, it was finally time for my bother and I to hit the slopes at Keystone, and see what kind of heads we could turn with our amazing ability to do all sorts of mean, nasty, ugly things with only a board and a pair of skis.

We arrived at the ski hill they call, Keystone. I was so excited to FINALLY be skiing in the Great Rocky Mountains, where they say the snow falls from the heavens in it's driest form compared to anywhere else in the world. As Andy and I are walking from the car to get on the first lift, I realize this place is much different than Mt. Bachelor, Oregon. In Keystone, there is basically a large town surrounding the base of the hill. Anything anybody would ever need or want is found at the tip of their mittens whenever skiing gets tiring. I was shocked and a little unprepared, due to lack of preparation from my part. I had always skied in this kind of a situation growing up with these huge resorts and massive amounts of people being drawn to the area. Why was I feeling so out of place? Why did it even stand out to me? Who cares?

It is barely past mid-day when I was separated from Andy. I get down to a chair lift, that Andy was not at. I get in line anyways. This girl and this guy ask if they can ask me a few questions while they accompany me on the lift. I was kind of weirded out until they started asking me questions on a survey about Keystone. Once the guy asks the basics: what is your name?, where are you from?, how old are you?, and so on, he asks, "what would you change about Keystone?". My answer right off the bat should have been lowering the cost of a day pass, which I had bought earlier and was pretty damn expensive. Unfortunately, I did not say that. When the ball was in my court to produce an answer, I said something that was a knee jerk reaction and which kind of surprised me. I immediately turned around on the chair lift to look down from our elevation at the tiny buildings, tiny parking lot, and tiny people scurrying about within this grand infrastructure, and said, "well, you could start by burning down every one of those buildings down there". They both erupted in laughter and looked at me like a really funny guy. When they noticed I kind of was not kidding, they said they would both be out of jobs. I said cheers and they did not ask me anymore questions after that.

Story #2:

On the same day that Andy and I skied, we arrive at the Denver International Airport around 5:15 in the p.m. It was time for me to depart from my brother and get back to Bend to assume the routine, daily life of the week days.

I was following the signs that would lead me to my gate, when I found myself in the very long line, waiting to be securitified by security. I was half in a daze from all the fun in Boulder, fatigued from getting off the mountain a fews hours earlier, plus, I had been taking samplers from the Greenest Green's finest, prior to the security line. As I am walking up, a few older fellows with white hair go rushing past me, with their bags on wheels struggling to keep up. A woman's voice, on a recorder, is blaring through the airport, reminding us not to leave your baggage unattended, and to throw away your water bottle if you are not willing to chug it. A couple right in front of me are having an argument as quietly as they can, pretending like no one can hear them. There is a wave of tension in this line of people that is so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife. I look upwards to the second story walkways, because I feel like there is no other place to look. I see an Interfaith Chapel with a Cantina Margarita restaurant right next store. Wow, there must be over eighty airport security personnel in this one area! Some of the security staff people are standing by the x-ray conveyor belt, people watching and picking their noses. Where do these people end up? I guess I to am just a lonely member of this herd, trying so desperately to get to my destination. But, for what?

Journal entry #1, 48hr solo, Utah Desert, 3/18/2008

2010-02-16T18:12:00.000-08:00

It's kind of crazy sitting on this ledge with my feet dangling over a 200 ft. drop, hearing and seeing commercial airplanes flying overhead. It reminds me that although I am away from society for 25 days, I never forget that there are millions of people in America going about their lives doing the same thing they have been doing since they remember. A lot of people live as slaves to society even though they think they are free. Could it be that some people are slaves to the "all you can eat" mentality in America? For instance, if you are craving a hamburger, you can drive your car (don't even have to walk or put any energy into getting where you want to be) to your favorite burger joint. If you want alcohol, weed, chocolate, then you can get it any time you like. One becomes spoiled of having everything one wants at their fingertips.

Out here, you pack what you need on you own back! You feel, first hand, the amount of work it takes to haul around what you need! Imagine carrying everything you need, and start dangling everything you want in your everyday life on the outside of your pack. I know I would not be able to carry all of that stuff more than 15 steps before getting tired! I don't need alcohol, weed, shrooms, drunk driving, that jacket, that car, that lifestyle, that new gear, your sympathy, your judgements.

What I do need is good friendships, my family, my brother, my dog, the freedom to think and feel without the fear of judgment. I need food, shelter, water, strong relationships, solitude, myself strong, healthy, and sharp. I need to be more helpful to others, a better brother, a better nephew, a patient person, a better friend, express how much I need some people in my life, show more compassion and feeling, get outdoors more, into the wilderness!!!

The Next Step

2010-02-08T22:48:00.000-08:00

Once again, things are never quite what you had expected. Or, hell, maybe they are, and I am happy for you.

I have talked to a few people lately that are thinking of the next step. A lot of people I have conversed with are beginning to think about leaving their bubbles at college and wondering where they will go when May or June rolls around. Thats right ladies and gents, the time has come to remember when your elders were saying, "You just wait until you got to grow up! Go into the 'real world'!". Now I can tell you a hundred reasons why I think that is a bunch of horse apples, but that is not the point of this discussion on the couch.

I was at the pub talking to this older guy about California and how they have dug themselves into the rut that they are in now. We got onto the subject of the United State's economy, jobs and college. He was telling me that when he got out of college, the question everyone was asking themselves was not, "Will I get a job?", it was, "which job offer should I take?". Obviously much different than today. Should some of us forget the job thing and go to graduate school to wait until the economy gets better? How about traveling? Should I just look for a job, any job? Should I move back home for a while, so I don't have to have expenses for a little bit? How the hell am I supposed to pick a direction?

The great thing about the question of the "the next step", is that it can apply to everything and everyone in some way, no matter where you are in life. If your getting married, or already married, what do you do now? I guess live the "American Dream", white picket fence, maybe a few kids, garden, and a golden retriever? Just got fired from your job that you assumed would probably be your career? Did you buy some really good vegetables or fruit, thinking you were going to be healthy again, but you forgot about them and they just went moldy on you? What do you do now? Of course you can look at these questions in the worst possible way, but why not look at your situation as an opportunity in disguise? I have had the worst trouble with these questions. I've gotten down, cursed myself and probably been the most confused in my entire life. I have got to keep remembering that the sky is the limit, like what Lil' Wayne said. Opportunities are everywhere, you just have to remember to look up every once and a while to see them (that is from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, I can't take credit for that).

This is the last thing I have to talk about, I promise. Moving to Bend has been a great thing for me. Maybe two hours ago I would not have said that, but after what I have typed, I sincerely believe that. Coming from Eugene, I pictured Bend as being my savior. Man, I was gonna tackle the world! I was set! I'm gonna get all these cool classes and I am going to do really well in them, nothing can stop me! Climbing is two minutes from my house, you can bike everywhere (even on highway 97), the mountain is 25 minutes away, the pub where I work is 2 minutes walking, the school is 11.5 minutes away walking and I got homies that want to come and ride on snow in the winter. That is all cool, but things have changed this winter term. Treading water is the best way to describe this winter term. I want to do a little experiment. I want to try not graduating from college. I want to work and gain as much experience in everything possible. Everything from radio shows to welding to working on an oil rig. I want my resume to be 30 pages long, maybe prove the elders wrong. They always have said, "Nowadays you have to have a college diploma to do anything". I think it can work.

Poop Happens

2009-12-13T21:37:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday morning was easily the most stressful morning that I have experienced in a long time. I think the last time I can remember feeling this way was in high school, every time I would drive down San Felipe or Highway 290 in Houston to pick up my girlfriend, I would be nervous as can be. But on this particular Saturday, I was close to losing it; muscles tense, escalated heart rate/breathing, and just about to pull my hair out.

As many of you may already know, I lost my wallet with every form of picture ID I had, some cash, and my debit and credit card. Not to mention I had to be at the airport in 45 minutes. Enough of me whining and complaining, let me get to the point.

Thanks to a handful of friends helping me clean my place, look for my wallet, cancel my debit/credit cards, and dealing with me flipping out, I had reason to relax just a little bit. I got to the airport and made it through security with not as much heart ache as I had anticipated, which calmed me down a little more. But, I was still stressing and beating myself to a pulp for my carelessness on the plane ride from Redmond to Portland. I don't know if it was my B.O. from skiing the day before or the altitude, but something clicked in my hungover brain. I began telling myself, "I can't keep getting this worked up over something that is over and already in the books". All of a sudden I could breath again, and think clearly. Later on in the day I swear I caught myself a few times where I had completely forgotten about losing my wallet. It was not a big deal anymore. I was in the position to look ahead and take action to fix my situation. When I got to Chicago, I found a monitor to give me the information that the flight to my destination had been canceled. Normally I would have freaked!! I had no money, no food, nothing!! Instead of going down that route, I just laughed. You know what they say in Russia (if you don't know, you better acsk somebody).

Final note: when something doesn't go your way and your stressed beyond belief, try to step back, deep breathe, and take an action that will help you get out of the mess your in. MUCH EASIER SAID THAN DONE! I know I will be working on this part of my personality for the rest of my days.

Journal entry #2, 48hr. solo, Utah desert, 3/18/08

2009-12-07T21:41:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and all I could hear was silence. Nobody around to tell me to get moving, and not having to listen to anyone else's worries. It's just me, a pack, sleeping bag, water, and clothing. This is a different, but exhilarating feeling. It's not weird, it's just different. This morning, right now, I feel no distractions. Finally!!! It's just me!

In the book, "The Dharma Bums", I read something last night that was saying the mountains are his buddha. They have been here for millions of years. They are peaceful, there is no rush, no judgements, it's all black and white, and slow. It took over 300 million years for these canyons to look how they do now, and I find peace and feel grounded, because of the patience of the dirt and the abundance of life here. The sound of silence!! Life and L-I-V-I-N is outdoors. There's so much to learn, I want to soak it all up! Next Fall I want to either find a job in Eugene working carpentry or construction, or work in northern Cali with Mike's friend, if that can happen. I don't want to go back to school yet. I have a lot of learning and reading I want to do before I go back.

About 30 minutes later with my handwriting looking much different...

Well that was tight. Trip just came to my solo spot and asked for a liter of water, because he used a liter for the dinner last night. While I was filling his water bottle up, he asked if I wanted to smoke (big surprise)! I just cracked up laughing and said, "ok". So, I'm pretty high, in the desert! That's nuts! It's actually a really cool feeling. There's a lot of life scurring around this morning. It's awesome.

"Home is where you make it" - Joe Dirt

2009-12-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning, I was cooking a big breakfast and listening to "Car Talk" (a normal weekend ritual Saturdays and Sundays, 11 a.m.- 12 p.m. on NPR). If you have not listened to these guys, I highly recommend it. Anyways, during the show they call someone that called maybe a month or two ago about a problem concerning their car. The idea is to see if the two guys were correct in diagnosing the problem. This woman called in from Seattle a couple months ago wondering what car would be best taking a road trip all over the country. This woman just had her daughter leave home to go to college, and she was sick of Seattle (which I don't know how that could be) and wanted to "find herself"; maybe find a new place to live.

She ends up driving over 18,000 miles, sleeping out of her car, staying with friends/family, and exploring the U.S. What I find interesting in this story is, in the end she moved back to Seattle and settled down in the place she desperately wanted to leave. I do not really have anything philosiphizing to say about this, but there is something here and I cannot exactly put my finger on it. Maybe some day.

Side note: The two guys on the show were recommending her a small truck to do the trip, so she can sleep in the bed of the truck. She ended up getting a Ford station wagon, and had nothing but great things to say about it. Therefore, the result was that the two guys were wrong.

"Don't quote me on this, but..."

2009-12-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

I don't know about anyone else, but I am stressed to the bone about school and a bunch of other horse apples bobbling around in my head, that takes over you and your emotions like your hot math teacher in 8th grade (I don't know anything about that though, obviously). There are multiple ways that we all deal with our stress. Some ways benefit us and our overall wellness, and other ways may hinder us. For me it is a constant struggle. But, today was a different experience that I have not had in a very long time.

I have this research paper due tonight at midnight. I have been very stressed about this paper and of course I waited to do it on the day that it is due. I gave myself a timeline today, that I will work on the paper until three o'clock, and no matter if I was done or not, I was going to treat myself to a walk in the blizzard that mother nature was gracing us with. Three o'clock came around and I just had to finish my reference page, so I was in good shape to take a break. I walked to the top of this butte near my apartment in about 5 or 6 inches of dry, beautiful powder. While I was on the butte, there was no one around. All the houses seemed like they were tucked away trying to fight off the howling wind and snow. On a clear day, you can see the whole town of Bend and more, but today it was a white out. No sound but the wind and my own heart pounding in my ears from the hike. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the sound of the wind. I tried to remember every snowflake that hit my face. Nothing mattered anymore except for the flakes in my beard and the music that the wind was orchestrating. I do not know how long I was standing there with my eyes closed, but when I finally opened them, the tracks that I had made on the way up were mostly covered with snow. I had forgotten about time and my place in the world. Not one thing mattered!

On the way back to my apartment, I started thinking (imagine that). Why has it been so long since I have taken the time to feel this rejuvenated? We all have busy lives, things we need to do, but also things we want to do. There is only so many hours in the day. Everyone has something different that they do to relieve stress. Some people spend hours playing video games and other people want to go climb Everest. What I am getting at is, make time in your day to do something for yourself, whether it is sitting on the couch watching Oprah or going to play basketball, make the time! Some stresses that we have we cannot control, but there are some things that we can manage, and that is what we need to concentrate on. But, don't quote me on this, it's just what I have come up with.

Water

2009-09-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

When someone asks you a question about the environment, what come to your mind first? I would assume that a lot of people might say global warming!! Or deforestation!!! Or Melting ice caps!!!!

I was asked that question for my Forestry class at OSU, and was asked to say what I thought was the most pressing issue to deal with when it comes to the environment. My first reaction was something like I said above. Then, I thought for a second about it and remembered my Geology class about natural resources, that I'm sure Guad and Fowl should remember. I remember that we talked a lot about water. In places like Africa, India, and parts of Southeast Asia are having a really hard time with pollution and contamination in their fresh waterways. Contaminates like arsenic, cadmium, fluoride and lead, are in high enough concentration in the fresh water to be harmful to humans and animals. These people have to drink this water daily which will cause health defects in the near future. In the United States, sulfuric acid is a concern in some areas of the country. Sulfur is emitted into the air from the burning of fossil fuels. In the atmosphere, the sulfur is exposed to water vapor and turns into sulfuric acid and falls to the ground from precipitation. Therefore, our fresh waterways are being polluted. In upper New England and some parts of Canada in that region, are finding their lakes and rivers have a higher pH level (which measures the acidity) than they should, due to pollution coming from Ohio, Indiana and Iowa.

I think our fresh water is a very important issue to keep in mind. I would not say that it is the most important, because everything that has to do with the environment (even humans), are all connected in this interconnected web. Everything has an effect on something else, and so on. Kind of like the domino effect, except it can circle back around and hit us in the ass. Which we don't want, or at least I don't, but I guess I can't speak for everyone.

Timshel

2009-09-09T21:38:00.000-07:00

Timshel, in Hebrew, is defined as "thou mayest" in the Hebrew Bible when referring to the story of Cain and Abel. When this phrase is used for Cain, it is saying that he has a choice to sin or not after killing his brother. Instead of saying that we are all doomed for sin, death and fire in hell, it is saying that in our every day lives we have a choice between what is right and wrong.

Now my tangent:
I am not a religious person. I am a believer that what is "right" and "wrong" is to the eye of the beholder. Everyone has their own perception of what is good and bad. Now getting back to the word timshel, I believe that no matter the circumstances, everyone has choices to make every day that create themselves as individuals. I know for myself, I have made lots of mistakes, but nothing I can honestly say that I regret. If I am in a position to repeat a mistake, I hope that I would have already learned from my last experience and not continue the same pattern. Obviously, this is harder said than done. I am still struggling and probably will be for the rest of my life with taking my mistakes as a way of bettering myself. I guess what I am attempting to come out of this tangent with is that, whatever you believe is right and wrong, stick by that and do not ever forget. Stay close and true to yourself.

Side note: I am not telling you what to do, I really should not be talking. I'm just thinking while I type.

Sex Predators

2009-06-03T10:12:00.000-07:00

My newspaper of choice is the Daily Emerald. The Daily Emerald is a newspaper created by the students at the University of Oregon. I was sitting in Cafe Sienna one morning about a week or two ago, (for those who do not know, Cafe Sienna is a highly recommended place to eat good Mexican food) and I was disturbed to read about all the sexual harassment that have been scaring the hell out of women. Furthermore, these recent crimes got kind of personal when I heard it actually happened to a friend of mine. I cannot tell you how angry it makes me when I think or read about this kind of stuff. When some guy is harassing a woman or hits a woman, I not only think to myself that that is very wrong morally, but I also picture my mom in that situation. I'll tell you right now, no one messes with my mom. Therefore, it automatically makes it personal in a very weird, indirect way. But, that's the way it is. I have also been reading about people stealing other people's stuff too. I read about three cars that got stolen in one week! That is preposterous! Also, my roommate had his ipod stolen last Thursday while a party was going on, and he was not even here. I have also had a couple of things stolen from me this year.

What I am trying to get at is that we need to all look out for each other. I'm not saying we should always be paranoid and looking over our backs all the time. I am not saying that we should begin carrying around knives to try to protect ourselves. What I am saying is that we should all be aware that shit can happen and we should try to avoid it at all cost. Being educated about these things that are taking place in the places in which we live, is a start to preventing more stealing and harassment to our friends and peers. Guys and/or girls, walk in pairs or more. Try not to get blacked out and stumble home. I love you. We shall prevail! (I have always wanted to say that too)

BBQin'

2009-05-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

There is a very unique, special process to the art of grilling (no, not mushrooms). I have a pretty strict step by step way of BBQin'. Although, I must say now that my style of grilling is not the "correct" way of doing it, it is just the way that works for me. I believe everyone develops their own habits and styles the more you BBQ. I must also clear up that the only respectable way of grilling is on a charcoal grill. That is wonderful if you cook on gas, but I'm sorry, its not as toit. Like I say, people have very different and precise styles of grilling which would suggest that there is an art to grilling. You cannot achieve possessing a style of grilling if all you do is turn a knob and your done cooking in twelve minutes from lighting the fire. Doesn't make sense to me. Therefore, I would suggest the sphere style Weber grill that you can find in any department store in your area. If you have a few extra dollars to spend I HIGHLY recommend the chimney lighting device to light your coals. So, know that you have your grill and chimney (or not), now you need the coals.

You can go a few directions with charcoal. You can choose lump charcoal, which is not refined briquettes. Some of the pieces even look to be wood or pieces of burnt organic material. Another option is charcoal briquettes. I have done some reading, from the help of Demonhawk Bish, that have suggested to use both types of charcoal at the same time for your fire. This strategy will help with cooking something for an extended period of time (brisket, whole chicken, and ribs) as well as having a hotter fire. I would not suggest only having lump charcoal by itself. Now that you have your charcoal, here is a step by step list for lighting your fire:

With chimney:

1. Pour charcoal into top of chimney

2. put three pieces of newspaper on the underside of the chimney

3. VERY IMPORTANT: vents on the bottom of the grill must be open to allow air to light the fire

4. now you can light the paper, and make sure you check to see that the coals catch, somtimes the paper does not burn all the way

Without chimney:

1. create a mound of charcoal along one of the walls inside the grill and have the top of the pile reach a couple inches from the top edge of the grill

2. make sure vents are open on the bottom

3. drench coals in lighter fluid and light

You have your fire lit, so now you need to spread the coals. I personally prefer to have a cold side and a hot side (again, there is never a right way, it is the way I prefer and some people have their own way of doing it). I like to bunch up the coals and make a thin layer of coals to one side as evenly as possible.

I'm not going to go into cooking different foods, but I will make this one, extremely crucial suggestion, actually two. First, do not cook with the top open for the whole time that your cooking your food. Do you leave the oven door open while your cooking? Second, after you think your food is done, I like to move the meat over to the cold side of the grill and close all the vents to kill the fire. The meat is not being cooked, but its staying warm and getting that extra smokey flavor. My experience with this method has been that it really brings the juices out. Performing this method with vegetables is not required.

Go forth and conquer our hunger problem!

FML

2009-05-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

FML=Fuck my life. This is a terrible saying.

1. This saying a extremely negative. We college students do not have to worry about getting shot or blown up by a suicide bomber while going to Safeway to get food. Majority of us do not have to stress too hard about where we are going to sleep tonight or where our next meal is coming from. Therefore, there is no reason why we should say fuck our lives like they are so terrible, because there are a lot of people in the world that have it a million times worse than we do.

2. I don't like the negativity at all. I believe if you are negative in life about things in your life, you will attract negativity to yourself. "What goes around, comes around" is a quote we all are familiar with, and I am a strong believer.

I would like to propose a challenge to everyone. When you are feeling negative about anything, mad, sad, jealous, just remember that you will be ok. Hard times come and they go. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer (I know that has nothing to do with what I'm saying, but I've always wanted to say that).